The Lack Thereof
by raendown
Summary: "I think you'll be happy to know that I'm not wearing any underwear."


"I think you'll be happy to know that I'm not wearing any underwear."

For at least a full ten seconds absolute silence greeted this announcement. The others in the room stared at the one who had made this statement with a wide variety of reactions ranging from shock to disgust with some barely hidden interest sprinkled in as well.

Tobirama was too surprised to even comment on the arm that had been congenially thrown about his shoulders. He turned his head to look at Madara as best he could, swaying with the weight of the other man's body pressed up against him.

"Why, for the love of all things holy, would I wish to know whether or not you're wearing undergarments?" he demanded. It didn't have nearly the sharp edge it usually did. Madara grinned and that didn't have its usual edge either.

"In case you wished to relieve me of them," Madara explained. His tone had that _duh_ quality to it which implied Tobirama should have known that.

"…Ah." That was all Tobirama could think of to say in response. He tried to think back and count how many drinks the clan head next to him had consumed that evening but it was difficult when his own mind was feeling the effects of the six (or was it seven?) drinks he had consumed himself. The room was fuzzy around them and the soft scent of smoke wafting from the man draped over him only served to scramble his focus even more.

Across from them on the other couch, Izuna was looking at the both of them with the face of someone who had just witnessed the single most traumatizing event of their life. The glass of alcohol in his hand was tilting dangerously to the side and he seemed unaware that he was about to spill his drink all over his feet.

"Brother…a little discretion…for fuck's sake…" the young man murmured. Mito, the sole sober occupant of the room, reached over from where she was perched on the arm of Hashirama's chair to pat him on the head.

"There, there, child," she said to him. "Drink up and maybe you'll forget this ever happened. Spirits know I wish I could do the same."

Izuna heeded her advice and took a deep swig as Madara leaned farther up against Tobirama, grinning foolishly. Tobirama sipped his own drink and watched the older man from the corner of his eye, saying nothing about it. The slight coloring of his cheeks said enough.

"Did you want me to?" the pale man spoke up finally. Madara hummed.

"Want you to what?"

"Relieve you of your undergarments, of course."

This time instead of silence the comment was met with a round of spluttering from those gathered in the room. Hashirama wailed and covered his ears, tucking his head in to Mito's side. Touka cackled and slid farther down in her seat. Mito patted Izuna again as he started pretending to vomit. Madara looked beyond delighted by the question.

"I would!" he exclaimed. "Like you to, that is. And like you. I like you too, too." He trailed off for a moment, having confused himself by the way his words stumbled over each other. Tobirama nodded.

"Right then." He drained his glass and held it out. Mito helpfully plucked it from his fingers and set it down on the coffee table. "It appears I must be going now. Something _terribly_ important just came up." He stood up, wobbled, and then turned to scowl at the whine that Madara made. "Oh hush, you're coming too."

"Oh!" That put the smile back on to the Uchiha's face. He scrambled to his feet and swayed on them as he attempted to follow Tobirama to the front door. Silence reigned in the living room as the rest of the party listened to the two inebriated men try to find their way through the home. " _Are_ you going to relieve me of my underwear?" They heard Madara ask cheerfully.

"I thought you weren't wearing any?"

"…you're _good_."

Touka slid down out of her chair and Mito fell over on to Hashirama's lap, so hard were both of them laughing. Hashirama wailed again and Izuna made a mad dash for the bathroom as Tobirama and Madara disappeared in a quiet puff of smoke.

They reappeared moments later in a dark bedroom, neither one of them sure if it was theirs or the other's. It failed to matter, however, when a moment later Madara pushed Tobirama up against the closest wall and mashed their lips together in a decidedly violent kiss. The younger man was sure he tasted blood but since the alcohol numbed any pain he ignored it.

Hands roamed freely and buttons popped off as Tobirama's shirt was torn open. He retaliated by tugging Madara's shirt over his head and leaning in to bite at his neck. Madara groaned, head tilting back to allow him more access while his fingers traces the dips and grooves in Tobirama's abdominals. Their hips bucked against each other, rubbing their mutual excitement together through several layers of fabric. Tobirama brought his hand lower with the intent of removing another piece of clothing but got distracted by the flex of Madara's back muscles. They felt incredible under his palms.

He was only able to pull his hands away when Madara pushed his ruined shirt the rest of the way off and he needed to wrestle his arms back out of it. Once he was free he shoved the other man off him and in the direction of the bed. They tumbled down on top of the covers in a heap of uncoordinated limbs. It took three minutes to sort them all out and it ended with Madara kneeling in between Tobirama's thigh's, enthusiastically worshipping one of his nipples.

Tobirama squirmed under the attention, winding his hands through his partner's thick shaggy locks and tugging sharply.

"Wha-?" Madara looked up at him with a slightly glazed expression.

"Take off your pants," he demanded bluntly. Madara blinked and he could swear that a hint of a blush showed up across the older man's cheeks.

"Alright."

After some shuffling around Madara managed to rid himself of his trousers and as he reached to try and help his partner do the same a pale hand suddenly gripped him, making him freeze and groan loudly.

"You really weren't wearing any underwear. How _delightful_ ," Tobirama rumbled, stroking the cock he had in his hand. Madara's head dropped on to his shoulder, hips rocking to the rhythm that he set and leaving it up to him to undo his own pants. He push them down only far enough for his erection to spring free then hooked Madara with his ankles and pulled him in closer.

The closer proximity allowed him to encompass them both with one large hand, a pleasure Madara seemed to have no objections to if the garbled swearing was anything to go by. Which was good because he wasn't sure he could have stopped if he was asked to. It felt _good_ , the perfect pressure of them pressed against each other, the slight added friction from the way Madara couldn't seem to keep his hips still. The deep voice murmuring senselessly in his ear, begging him not to stop.

Tobirama closed his eyes and let his head drop back, one hand tangled in Madara's hair again as the other moved faster between their bodies. He was already close. Slightly embarrassing because they'd just barely gotten started but he couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault Madara was attractive. He was only lucky the older man seemed to have spontaneously decided to agree with that sentiment. As heat coiled tighter and tighter in his belly he had the distant thought that he could always blame this on the alcohol if there were any last minute objections.

His undoing was the sudden needy whimper from his partner and a quiet, "Tobirama…" in his ear. Upon hearing his name in that voice, hoarse and slightly pleading, he was lost. He gave a strangled cry and his body curled inward slightly as he came, coating his own hand and making a mess of Madara as well. He gave a violent shudder upon realizing that half of the mess was actually Madara coming at the same time. Evidently he wasn't the only one here who was a little over-enthusiastic.

Tobirama had just enough time to move his hand before Madara collapsed forward on to him, draping a warm body over his chest the way he had earlier draped an arm over his shoulder. He didn't particularly mind. He'd had his fair share of quiet fantasies about just this sort of moment so he simply lay still and enjoyed it.

As they lay in the darkness atop the bed – owner still unidentified – his mind slowly started to work again. He blow a few strands of long hair away from his face so he could speak.

"Is there a _reason_ you weren't wearing any undergarments?"

Madara made an adorable snuffling noise which told him that his companion had been on the verge of falling asleep. He chuckled quietly as the man shifted and nuzzled back in to his shoulder before answering.

"I knew you'd be there," Madara said, words slurred by drink and fatigue. "Knew Hashirama would make me drink. Never hurts to plan ahead."

His voice trailed off, quieter and quieter with every word, until finally his breathing evened out and it was obvious that he had truly fallen asleep this time. Tobirama raised both eyebrows as he chewed over that little revelation. Eventually he decided his reaction would have to wait until the morning when they were both sober. He hoped Madara would remember all this. Otherwise tomorrow was likely to have a loud start.


End file.
